Welp...herpes.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
