she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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