This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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