she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
