K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
