Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
