No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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