i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
