Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
