I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He kissed a someone with a penis
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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