You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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