I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
