you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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