he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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