Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just found puke in my bra..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
