Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and she was petting her beer can
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
