I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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