three words: i give head
three words: not that well
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
