I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
