I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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