I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
