get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
