i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
