I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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