just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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