Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
