My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Randomize
