I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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