Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
