i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
