RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
