Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
