You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
