I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
