Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
