Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My life is pants optional.
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