So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
