Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
