i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ugly people sure do ruin things
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
