So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
