Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
where am i from again
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
