yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
