She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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