That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
