Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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