He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
