I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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