two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
