I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
