I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
