she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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