How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
