Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
