Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
