PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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